Sadness comes sudden, remorseless; rainy september blues,
Summer stretched long, hot and sweaty, leaving now, tanned and steady.
I fell off the sun, landed on sidewalk, a girl more like a bruise.
Always waited for autumn, windy beginnings, but today I’m not ready.
I’m not ready.
I’m not ready for seasons, for change, life in motion.
There are things buried deep that I haven’t yet figured out.
I haven’t yet swallowed the blue salt of the ocean,
and cleansed my tired insides of their secrets and doubt.
I’m not ready to witness the splendid shedding of trees,
There is too much tight skin that I myself haven’t shed.
Half human, half snake, I couldn’t turn adult with ease,
my body grew so much faster than the voice in my head.
Husk of fruit, chaff of wheat, all these shedding of layers,
Pity how my story clings to my pores still, sticky weight.
Tonight I’m sick with it, and void of all the usual prayers,
Tonight I’m so heavy, swaddled in sin, surrender to fate.